WHAT EVEN IS THIS
IS THIS JUST FANTASY
Leaving for my ride after 9:00am instead of like 7:00am since I’m all screwy.
Partly because the new job has my sleep patterns skewed. I’m used to getting up around 5:30am and lately have been sleeping until 6:30am or so. Throw in daylight savings time today and I may as well be on Neptune.
It may be slightly cool on Neptune today but at least there will probably be some pretty rad tailwinds helping me out.
I’m the only person I know who can fuck themselves up while juicing. The apple corer broke and sliced up both of my hands. It’s fairly superficial, but enough to be annoying. #fml #juicing #apple #fruit #ERstat #food #hurt #pain #areyoufuckingkiddingme
Most cyclists get pumped up for their rides by drinking espresso or doing jock-type things like stretches, spinning on the trainer, riding to the ride….
But not me. I get psyched up by doing dishes, vacuuming and scooping the cat box.
Such is my life. (FYI, not my cat)
How do you prep for your rides?
For an old style race like #stradebianche an old style shoes by @gaernecycling Hope @TeamSky fans will like them! pic.twitter.com/I5IWr2R2Oh (via Twitter / DarioCataldo: For an old style race like …)
Annoying girlfriends on group rides… just shoot me.
Annoying men who have everything to prove on group rides. UGH.
The main reason isn’t even listed: Same damned reason you, Mr Motorist, are in the lane. Because I am traveling to my destination.
I can’t tell you how many times Lacey has come home with stories of how she came THISCLOSE to being seriously hurt while riding her bike through Manhattan. Cabs, buses, pedestrians and even other cyclists are constantly at odds with each other, and while I know her helmet…
When I went through a mini vans passenger window in 2010 and was unconscious for who knows how long , my road ID is partly how the sheriff and EMT’s identified me. Of course they then used my cell phone to call my wife.
I feel like there’s a frame missing here.
Alligator snapping turtle.
Several weeks ago some jackass on my cycling route stopped her car in the middle of the road during rush hour and backed up traffic because one of these guys was NEAR the road. Some other guy stopped and attempted to carry it farther away from the road when it must have reared around on him. He dropped that sucker fast and ran back to his car.
The woman then appealed to me to carry it across four lanes of a busy roadway because “He’s trying to get to that pond over there…”
I said “Lady, if you want to lose all your fingers that’s your choice.”
I love all animals and these snappers are awesome. But he was safe and I also don’t fuck with nature.
This is what I imagine I look like while riding. And I don’t give a FUCK!
John Candy died 20 years ago today. A great Canadian and a vastly underrated actor.
"I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam."
Most of my childhood involved my dad saying “Sorry folks, park’s closed. The moose out front should have told you.” R.I.P. Mr. Candy.
After it rains bikes can double as drying racks